Tuesday, January 19, 2010


the Christmas stuff is down and put away...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

three and a half months...

That's how long it has been since I last wrote. I said at the beginning of this blog I would be bad at it, but really, it's worse than even I expected!! So, this is for Amber, who lovingly pointed out to me that I am a slacker!! Thanks!

Life is just... a whirlwind. I don't really know how to describe it. These last few months have been the busiest of my life. I feel that every day is chaotic and I am behind in everything... example.... it's January 10th and my lovely Christmas tree is still standing next to me while I type, still decorated and everything. So is my whole house... I keep saying, "one of these days I will get Christmas stuff down". We'll see when it actually happens. Maybe just in time to put it back up next year??!!

I am still working at Starbucks and Jay is still going to school. He has taken on more responsibilites at church too. It has been amazing to see the Lord work during this time. We took a leap of faith and He has been so faithful!! Why do we ever doubt???

The girls are doing great at school. They both enjoy it a lot and have made some good friends. This is the first time Brooklynn is experiencing "the real world". There have been times where she has come home from school with hurt feelings. It makes me so sad. Why do kids have to be mean? They are in kindergarten for goodness sakes. I can't imagine a few years from now. I wish I could protect her from everything. I HATE seeing her heart hurt, but that is life and I guess now is when she begins to learn how to deal with the hardships that will be with her everday from here on out. I try to take advantage of each situation and teach her how to deal with it, but it's so hard. Why can't she stay a little baby forever?

We have had an interesting winter so far with health... we have colds now, but this is the first we have been sick with the "normal" winter stuff. We have had no flu and no colds until this week, but Wesley had pnomonia Thanksgiving weekend and was in the hospital for three days. It was hard and scary, but we made it through it. We also have a bad case of lice. So gross!!! Brooklynn picked them up somewhere and they quickly went to all three girls and me. We treated and washed EVERYTHING in our house. They were gone for a couple weeks and then returned only to treat and wash everything again. They were gone and then returned again!!! Terrible. It has been almost 6 weeks since I have seen any, but I still check the girls everyday. I think I will for a long time. Lastly, this last week we have had pink-eye. Our family came from Ohio after Christmas and thought it would be a nice present to leave with us!! Thanks again Amber!!

Our holidays were great. We had Jay's family here for the week between Christmas and New Years. There were 14 people in my house for a week, but it was so much fun!! I will end with a few pictures from their visit.

Friday, September 25, 2009

and we're off...

Life has become a race. I feel like I am running, running, running... The days are flying by. I blink and a week has passed. Crazy!!

Kendall has started school since my last post. She is doing well and enjoys it. Both Kendall and Brooklynn have made a number of friends at school. It is still weird to think that I have children in school. How did this happen? Speaking of crazy things... I turned 30 this last week. How did THAT happen? I just don't know where the time has gone!

I started work this last month at Starbucks. I managed a few store in the Springs in my pre-baby years, but have't worked in 5 years. So, I started a few weeks ago. It's been going pretty well. I really enjoy working and love it when I am there, but then when I come home I am having a hard time. Does this happen with every working mom or just because I'm new at this? The roles in our home have completely changed. Jay is staying home with the kids... being mister mom and he is doing an amazing job. I am so proud of him, but at he same time I miss being the "mom". My kids come to me and say "daddy, oh I mean mommy..." and it makes me sad that they now think of him first when they need something. I feel bad that this this how I feel, but I can't help it. I am used to being the one that everyone needs something from. It used to annoy me, but now I long for that.

Funny how I can never be content with what I have at that time!!

I know this is just a season of life.

I know I will be back at home with my kids in time.

I know this is where the Lord has led us and I know that Jay worked a job he hated for a couple years because he needed to support us.

I at least really enjoy my job!!

I guess this is part of being an adult!!

Kind of stinks.

Jay started school. He is going full-time on line. It seems like there is something always going on here. I am rushing out the door to work, he is leaving to go somewhere to study in quiet, he is leaving for something at church he is in charge of, Brooklynn and Kendall need dropped off or picked up from school (two different locations) and we are trying to keep a little normal life around here for the kids. Oh, and we (or I should say Jay) is still working on the floors, so that is a constant burden hanging over our heads. I guess it's just a little overwhelming right now. Again, just need to remind myself that this is a season of life... this too will pass. We are figuring it all out and I know once we figure our new routines it will be a little easier.

Anyway, this is my quick little update and gripe session!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

I'm a slacker!

I am so terrible at this blog thing. I keep telling myself I will do better, but then don't.

We have had quite a crazy few weeks here. August 5 was Jay's last day of work. That morning, I went to start a load of laundry and later found that the sensor on the washing machine was broken and never stopped filling causing a flood over a lot of my main floor and down into the basement (which thankfully is not finished!) We had to have the floors taken out in our laundry / bathroom, kitchen and some carpeting in our hallway as well as the vanity in the bathroom.

The NEXT day, our hot water heater started leaking. At first we weren't sure it really was because it seemed very coincidental that it would leak the day after our flood, but indeed it did. Jay had to replace it for us... not a cheap endeavour.

The NEXT day, one of the toilet on the second floor started to leak at the valve going into the wall. Jay also had to replace that. Not very fun!

So, for now, I think we have all our water issues under control. We are still living on ply wood and decided to pull up the carpet in our eating area and lay tile throughout. Jay is hoping to start this weekend, but is confident it will take a few weeks or so as he will only be able to do it in short periods of time. He tiled our bathroom upstairs when we first moved here, but hasn't done it since and that was only about 50 sf... this is about 350 sf. I just really want my laundry back. My sister has graciously allowed us to use her washer and dryer and while I greatly appreciate it... it is still a huge inconvenience for a family of 6 to have to bring our laundry somewhere else.

So, good news...

Brooklynn started kindergarten this last Wednesday. She is enjoying it so far and has had no tears which was a great relief for me!! She is extremely shy, but came home the first day and said she talked to her teacher and then yesterday said she talked to one other little girl. Those are HUGE steps for her!

Wesley had his two month appointment yesterday. Two months! Where has the time gone. I can't believe it! I think time goes faster with each child! Anyway, he was 12 lbs 13 oz and 24 3/4 in. long. He has grown so fast. The girls have always been small and very slow at growing... he is very different. I was just telling Jay last night that I have never had to learn how to clean between rolls at bath time!

I got a job at Starbucks this week. I don't start for about a week and a half, but I am very excited to go back to work there. Jay and I are changing so many of our roles and in some ways I am a little anxious to be working after being at home full time for five years, but in other ways I am very excited and looking forward to being out of the home some and doing something that doesn't involve diapers, screaming children and continual messes (oh, I guess that will be there, but it will be different!)

So, I think that sums up most of the last few weeks. I again, hopefully will be better at this... but I wouldn't count on it!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Life is changing a lot around here. Just wanted to share a little of what is going on and ask some of you to be in prayer for us.

Jay has always known that he has a calling into full time ministry. About a year ago, we really felt the Lord was calling us to commit to him going to seminary. We started the journey last September, but quickly learned that it was extremely difficult with his work and all his traveling... he was traveling about two weeks a month. His classes were online, but when he travels he works such long hours that it was still too difficult and stopped taking classes in December.

In the early spring he went before our church board and asked for a paid position as an intern at the church. After much prayer, they felt that they were not to spend the church's money in that way at this time. We very much respected their decision, but was still in a hard position to figure out how to accomplish what God was asking of us.

In April and May both Jay and I felt the Lord speaking to us and sharing the same message with both of us... "do what I have asked you to do... even when it doesn't make sense. Don't make it be practical."

After much prayer and guidance from friends, family and pastors, we felt that Jay was released from his job and that he is to go to school full time. So, tomorrow is his last day at work. He is going to a leadership conference with our pastors and has started an internship with the church (just not paid) and will be starting school full time in a couple weeks. We very much feel that this is what the Lord has asked of us, and when we are focused on Him, we have peace, but it is easy to take our eyes off Him and then the fear of the unknown takes over. We don't know what is ahead of us. School is three years and as of right now, we have no income. I am looking for a job, but will probably not make enough to pay our bills. We don't really know what the Lord has in store for us, but trust that He has a plan and that He has not called us into this to allow us to fail.

Please pray that we will continue to hear His voice and trust in Him fully. I know when times get hard it will be easy to question our decisions, so pray that we will be reminded of His calling.
I will keep you updated as we start this journey ahead of us. Thanks for your prayers and support.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Morgann's birthday

Yesterday was Morgann's second birthday. I can't believe she is two already. I think time just goes faster and faster every year!! Since we've had a crazy week with Wesley being born we have had meals brought to us, so last night a friend of mine made homemade doughnuts and brought over a candle for us to celebrate.

We love you Morgann and are so thankful to have you as our daughter!!

Here are some pictures of our night last night...

Wesley Jay Hawes

I have a new baby!! Wesley was born Wednesday morning at 4:41. He is perfect and we are loving having him a part of our family. The girls have been great with him and love taking care of him... even Morgann who I was a little nervous about.

He was 8 lbs. 2 oz and 22 inches long. Morgann was my next biggest baby at only 6 lbs 15 oz so this was quite a change!

Here are a few pictures: