heavy heart...

You know those times when you feel the Lord is trying to lead you in some direction, but you aren't sure of it? That's where I am right now. There are no words... I struggle with knowing if it is truly God talking to my heart or me feeling certain things and thinking certain thoughts just because of influences in my life. I don't know if any of this is making sense... my heart is just heavy, feeling lead in a direction... a little confused... a little scared... a little excited... a little of everything.

Don't you wish God would just write his directions on the wall, or let a little book fall out of heaven that has step by step directions for your life... oh wait, he kind-of already did that. I guess I need to spend a little more time there! But you know what I mean, something that would make everything so clear, you wouldn't have to even think... I guess that would build no faith. It would just be easier though.

"Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. " James 1:2-5

So I guess my faith is being tested, I should be thankful for the perseverance that I am gaining. That is so much easier said than done...

Again, don't know that any of this makes any sense, I just had to get a little off my chest.